Table of Contents
Introduction (by Natalie)
“The church group I’m part of is high-control and unhealthy, but I don’t see any way out—there’s nowhere else to go! Every other church disobeys Scripture by not practicing the holy kiss.”
While this is not an exact quote, it accurately paraphrases real messages Berean Holiness has received. From Holdeman Mennonite to General Assembly of the Church of the First Born to Old German Baptist Brethren, there are multiple hyper-fundamentalist groups that teach and preach that greeting with a kiss is not optional—it is a biblical command. Former members have shared with us that this “holy kiss,” as it’s called, is most often a kiss on the lips. In some groups men are only required to greet men this way and women to greet women. In others, all members are required to greet all other members, male or female, with a kiss. Whether or not children are kissed also differs from group to group.
In the hyper-fundamentalist circles we’re referring to, greeting with a kiss is not left to personal preference or Christian liberty, it is mandated and required. Those who refrain are seen as rebelling against God and His church. Churches that do not require the holy kiss are viewed as compromised at best.
The defense of this position is straightforward. According to the Holdeman Mennonite publication Bible Doctrine and Practice, “We greet one another in this way because it is an ordinance commanded in the Bible; it is not an option.”[1] The scriptures referred to are the following:
“Salute one another with an holy kiss. The churches of Christ salute you.” (Romans 16:16)
“All the brethren greet you. Greet ye one another with an holy kiss.” (1 Corinthians 16:20)
“Greet one another with an holy kiss.” (2 Corinthians 13:12)
“Greet all the brethren with an holy kiss.” (1 Thessalonians 5:26)
“Greet ye one another with a kiss of charity. Peace be with you all that are in Christ Jesus. Amen.” (1 Peter 5:14)
Are these Scriptures commanding all believers, of all cultures and times, to greet one another with a kiss? Is this a biblical tradition that the vast majority of the Church has strayed from? If so, perhaps hyper-fundamentalist leaders are correct and their miniscule splinter groups are the only faithful remnant. Perhaps members ought to stay, no matter how cultlike and toxic the group may become, because every other church really is worldly and backslidden.
But what if these Scriptures were never meant to bind all believers of all times to kissing? In that case, one faulty interpretation is isolating believers from the Body of Christ and confining them to unhealthy/cultish environments.
This isolation and confinement isn’t just happening among the Church of the First Born, it’s happening to millions of believers all across hyper fundamentalism. While the specific error may change, there is a repeating pattern of fringe and faulty Scripture interpretations being turned into unquestionable tradition. These traditions, be they dress codes or false doctrine, are then used to stop members from leaving who see red flags. After all, there’s nowhere to go. They are conditioned to judge the health of a church by whether or not hyper-fundamentalist traditions are taught and observed, and this makes it impossible to recognize a healthy church (never mind join one).
This is why it’s so incredibly important to cross-examine these hyper-fundamentalist teachings. In the following article, Ethan does just that. While the specific focus is on the holy kiss, he also examines the broader tendency to fixate on peripheral issues, miss the principle of the passage, and twist Scripture to our own detriment. May we all learn to divide the Word faithfully and, by doing so, discover the freedom in Christ in which we have been called to walk (Galatians 5:13).
—Natalie Edmonson
Obsessing Over the Obscure (by Ethan)
With over 700,000 English words, the Bible says a lot of things. Some things stated in Scripture are more important than others. Paul says in 1 Corinthians 15:3 that the gospel is “first of all.” Standing before Pilate, Jesus said the Jewish people had committed a “greater sin” in handing him over to Pilate than Pilate had in sentencing him to death (John 19:11). There are greater truths and lesser truths. There are greater sins and lesser sins. Scripture has one main message: what God has done through his Son Jesus Christ to save sinners. This is the most important message in Scripture. Everything else is of lesser importance. This message should characterize our lives and preaching and teaching and worship and prayers.
Hyper-fundamentalist groups, however, tend to find issues in Scripture that are obscure and on the periphery of importance. They take a rigid stance on interpretation and application and make these issues the defining characteristic of their group. If you don’t agree with them, then in their eyes, you are not simply mistaken about a debatable topic—you are unacceptable before God.
One of the reasons people do this is because it’s human nature to look for something we can do ourselves that will make us acceptable to God. We want control. We want significance. We want to distinguish ourselves from others as the ones that “really get it.” The problem (one of the problems) with this is that if someone with these desires unrepented of is given a Bible, they will search for obscure oddities and exalt them to the level at which they will disfellowship genuine Christians. By making one issue their religion, they will miss the whole message of Scripture.
Two Kinds of Tradition
Within hyper-fundamentalist groups, once a rigid stance of interpretation/application has been taken on an obscure or difficult passage, the group’s interpretation is often crystallized into a church “tradition.” One of the most common defenses we hear for upholding these traditions is the following Scripture:
“Therefore, brethren, stand fast, and hold the traditions which ye have been taught, whether by word, or our epistle.” (2 Thessalonians 2:15)
The New Testament seems to use the word “tradition” in two ways, one positively and one negatively. The negative uses are traditions created by and handed down from men that are given equal or more authority than Scripture. This is sin. For an example, see Matthew 15:3–9:
But he answered and said unto them, Why do ye also transgress the commandment of God by your tradition? For God commanded, saying, Honour thy father and mother: and, He that curseth father or mother, let him die the death. But ye say, Whosoever shall say to his father or his mother, It is a gift, by whatsoever thou mightest be profited by me; And honour not his father or his mother, he shall be free. Thus have ye made the commandment of God of none effect by your tradition. Ye hypocrites, well did Esaias prophesy of you, saying, This people draweth nigh unto me with their mouth, and honoureth me with their lips; but their heart is far from me. But in vain they do worship me, teaching for doctrines the commandments of men.
Mark 7:3–9 is another negative instance:
Then came together unto him the Pharisees, and certain of the scribes, which came from Jerusalem. And when they saw some of his disciples eat bread with defiled, that is to say, with unwashen, hands, they found fault. For the Pharisees, and all the Jews, except they wash their hands oft, eat not, holding the tradition of the elders. And when they come from the market, except they wash, they eat not. And many other things there be, which they have received to hold, as the washing of cups, and pots, brasen vessels, and of tables. Then the Pharisees and scribes asked him, Why walk not thy disciples according to the tradition of the elders, but eat bread with unwashen hands? He answered and said unto them, Well hath Esaias prophesied of you hypocrites, as it is written, This people honoureth me with their lips, but their heart is far from me. Howbeit in vain do they worship me, teaching for doctrines the commandments of men. For laying aside the commandment of God, ye hold the tradition of men, as the washing of pots and cups: and many other such like things ye do. And he said unto them, Full well ye reject the commandment of God, that ye may keep your own tradition.
Other examples are Galatians 1:14 and Colossians 2:8.
In sharp contrast, when Scripture uses the word “traditions” in a positive sense, it’s referring to traditions handed down from Christ to the Apostles and given to the church in Scripture. Like 2 Thessalonians 2:15 above, these traditions are in fact God’s Word (see also 1 Corinthians 11:2; 2 Thessalonians 2:15; 3:6).
So, in 2 Thessalonians 2:15 Paul is commanding the church to persevere in faith and obedience to the teaching of Scripture, specifically the authoritative teaching of the Apostles which they (the Apostles) received directly from Jesus and gave either in person or in writing to the church.
Recognizing this in Scripture is important for at least two reasons. First, it is a great example of one of the key principles of Scripture interpretation, which is that words (along with phrases and sentences and paragraphs) must be understood according to the context in which we find them. “Tradition” is one word, but it is used to express two different ideas–one good and righteous, and one bad and sinful. Second, it is important because it shows us that Scripture denounces putting the commands of men on par with (“teach for doctrines the commandments of men”) or above (“ye also transgress the commandment of God by your tradition”) Scripture itself.
In fact, any system that puts human traditions at the same level as or above the commands of Scripture is vain worship (see Matthew 15:9 above). That means it is fruitless. It is good for nothing. It is not accepted by God. It is meaningless.
Obeying the Letter or the Spirit? The Context of Commands
Bringing the conversation back to our focus topic, is the holy kiss a human tradition or tradition of Scripture? Proponents would say the holy kiss is the latter. After all, it is a command in Scripture. Here’s where this gets tricky. There are an abundance of commands in Scripture, and many of them (in the Old and New Testaments alike) are not intended for Christians today to obey.
An example from the Old Testament is 1 Kings 13:17b, “Thou shalt eat no bread nor drink water there, nor turn again to go by the way that thou camest.”
And in the New Testament we have Acts 10:5–6, “And now send men to Joppa, and call for one Simon, whose surname is Peter: He lodgeth with one Simon a tanner, whose house is by the sea side: he shall tell thee what thou oughtest to do.”
These two examples are pretty obvious. The first is a specific command given to a nameless prophet during the reign of Jeroboam. The second is a specific command to the Roman centurion, Cornelius. But there are many texts that are less obvious. What if a pastor or preacher or teacher in the church teaches obedience to a command in Scripture and tells me, in detail, how to obey that command, but I’m not sure if that Scripture is meant to be obeyed still for Christians today? What if they claim the Scripture is an ordinance given to the church by Christ himself? If I don’t obey that Scripture, am I sinning? If I don’t obey my church’s specific application of that Scripture, is that sinning?
Here’s another example. At the end of 1 Corinthians, in 16:1–3 Paul commands the Christians in Corinth to set aside an offering every Sunday so he can collect it when he comes and have it sent to Jerusalem. It says:
Now concerning the collection for the saints, as I have given order to the churches of Galatia, even so do ye. Upon the first day of the week let every one of you lay by him in store, as God hath prospered him, that there be no gatherings when I come. And when I come, whomsoever ye shall approve by your letters, them will I send to bring your liberality unto Jerusalem.
This is a command specifically to the church in Corinth in the first century. And Paul said he told the churches in Galatia to do the same thing. And yet, after reading this, many people think, “Yes, we need to give offering to the church.” So which is it? Is this a command only intended for a select few churches in the first century? Or is it for all churches throughout the world and all time? I think to understand that, we have to read more of the New Testament. We need to know the context in which this is happening.
Acts 11:27–30 mentions the church in Antioch deciding to send financial support to the church in Jerusalem because Agabus, by the Spirit, said there would be a famine, and the church in Jerusalem would be in need. As stated above, Paul mentions collections for this in 1 Corinthians 16:1–3, as well as Romans 15:26 (and maybe in 2 Corinthians 8–9). So when we read this we understand that Paul was collecting offerings for a very specific purpose in the first century church. We understand that because of the historical setting, this does not apply to us in the sense that we also must set aside an offering for the church in Jerusalem every week. However, these texts can apply to churches throughout the globe today in this principle: collect offerings for Christians who are in need. In fact, we see this kind of system set up for the needy widows within one local church in the church in Ephesus in 1 Timothy 5:3–16. Because of the example of the New Testament church, the instructions about giving for the support of widows in 1 Timothy, and the ministry of the deacons, we can see that it is a biblical principle to establish some form of offering in the church that is given for physical needs.
There are other examples of commands and instructions in the New Testament that the church today does not need to apply directly, but can obey in principle. Again, for example, many of Jesus’s instructions to the Apostles concerning their local mission to the Jewish people in Matthew 10 do not apply to mission efforts for the church today (i.e. in 10:5 Jesus says don’t go to Gentiles and in 10:10 Jesus tells them not to take an extra coat or shoes). However, we can look at Matthew 10 and see various principles for having the right preparations and the right mindset as we send out missionaries or are sent as missionaries ourselves.
Perhaps you’re seeing the difficulty now. We want to obey what we’re supposed to obey. But we don’t want to exalt man-made rules based on bad interpretation to the level of a command from our Lord.
What About the Kiss?
What is particularly difficult with the Scriptures commanding the holy kiss is that these are instructions in the epistles, written by the Apostles to the New Testament church. So, shouldn’t the church obey this?
I’ve heard well-known Bible scholars and pastors ask the same question, and simply admit that it is difficult.[2] So I’ll try to give my answer with humility, knowing that it’s okay for Christians to disagree on our conclusions on issues like this.
Kissing as Cultural Greeting
First let’s look at some examples in the New Testament of the cultural custom of kissing as a greeting in the first century, whether Christian or not (there are many examples in the Old Testament, but I will limit it to the New).
“And, behold, a woman in the city, which was a sinner, when she knew that Jesus sat at meat in the Pharisee’s house, brought an alabaster box of ointment, And stood at his feet behind him weeping, and began to wash his feet with tears, and did wipe them with the hairs of her head, and kissed his feet, and anointed them with the ointment… Thou gavest me no kiss: but this woman since the time I came in hath not ceased to kiss my feet.” (Luke 7:37–38, 45)
“And he arose, and came to his father. But when he was yet a great way off, his father saw him, and had compassion, and ran, and fell on his neck, and kissed him.” (Luke 15:20)
“And when he had thus spoken, he kneeled down, and prayed with them all. And they all wept sore, and fell on Paul’s neck, and kissed him, 38 Sorrowing most of all for the words which he spake, that they should see his face no more. And they accompanied him unto the ship.” (Acts 20:36–38)
These Scriptures show that kissing was a typical greeting in Jewish culture in Israel in the first century. It was not a new thing that Christians began doing with one another after Jesus rose from the dead. In other words, to kiss in a greeting was not a particularly Christian thing.
Instructions for the Kiss in the Epistles
Paul and Peter are the only writers to command a greeting with a kiss. The writer of Hebrews, James, John, and Jude do not include this command when writing their epistles. However, Paul and Peter also did not include this command in all of their letters. Galatians, Ephesians, Philippians, Colossians, 2 Thessalonians, Philemon, 1 and 2 Timothy, Titus, and 2 Peter do not include this command. Even between Peter and Paul, the phrasing of the kiss varies. Paul always said “holy kiss,” but Peter said “kiss of charity” (1 Peter 5:14).
In Philippians 4:21 Paul simply says, “Salute every saint in Christ Jesus.” Titus 3:15 reads, “Greet them that love us in the faith.” He does not specify the mechanics of the greeting. Hebrews 13:24 also unspecifically commands, “Salute all them that have the rule over you, and all the saints.”
Interestingly, the same Greek word for “greet” is used in Hebrews 11:13 where it says Abel and Enoch and Noah and Abraham and Sarah “all died in faith, not having received the promises, but having seen them afar off, and were persuaded of them, and embraced them, and confessed that they were strangers and pilgrims on the earth.” They “embraced” (greeted) the promises of God? How? By kissing them? How do you kiss a promise?
Romans 16:16 points to the fact that a kiss is not always necessary or even the main point. Paul tells the church to greet one another with a holy kiss, but then he says, “All the churches of Christ salute you.” So all the churches in Christ, who are not physically present, greet the church in Rome. How? With a kiss? That’s not even possible because they aren’t there.
The point isn’t the kiss. The point is the greeting. And the way Paul is talking about all the other churches greeting the church in Rome seems to be a way to say that all the other churches love and welcome this church in Rome just as any other church. So the love that is expressed through the greeting is really the heart of the matter.
Paul himself also frequently sends a greeting to Christians or churches while not being physically present (Romans 16:3–15; Philippians 4:2–23; Colossians 4:15; Philemon 23–24; etc.).
Because of all that, I think that if Paul and Peter were writing to North Americans today they would have said “holy handshake” or “holy hug.” The mechanics of the greeting seem to be culturally bound and thus will change from culture to culture. The heart motivation behind the greeting however is what matters for believers today and always.
Think about applying that to greetings in church. It’s not about getting the mechanics right. It’s about not holding on to bitterness toward others in the church. It’s about loving everyone in the church. It’s about maintaining genuine Christian fellowship—“fervently from a pure heart” (1 Peter 1:22)—so diligently that you are able to greet everyone, in love, all the time.
Obeying the Letter or the Spirit? Interpretation Principles
Now let’s revisit that difficult question about discerning when something is prescriptive or descriptive. Here are some guidelines for studying Scripture that can be helpful.
The Analogy of Faith
First, there is a Scripture interpretation principle called “The Analogy of Faith.” It comes from Romans 12:6, which says, “Having then gifts differing according to the grace that is given to us, whether prophecy, let us prophesy according to the proportion of faith.”
The word “proportion” in Greek is ànalogía, where we get our words “analogy” or “analogous.” This verse is saying that any prophecy someone gave in the New Testament church must be in accord with the recognized, harmonious, unified, standard of teaching of all of Scripture which formed the Christian faith. This also means that any interpretation of Scripture we might come up with has to be in accordance with the rest of Scripture. Since Scripture does not contradict itself, our interpretations of Scripture also must conform to the unified whole.
Second, context guides us to clarity. We have to look in the immediate context of the Scripture passage at hand, as well as the context of the chapter, the book, the testament, and the whole Bible. It’s a long process, but we can usually find the clarity we need if we do our best to let Scripture interpret Scripture. If you search diligently, I think Scripture will indicate if something is cultural or historical or situational and should be applied in principle, or if it should be obeyed literally.
Three Interpretive Disciplines
There are also three kinds of interpretative disciplines that help us examine the context of the whole Bible when interpreting any passage.
Biblical Theology: We can interpret when some things are descriptive and not prescriptive because they are happening through very specific people (or offices) in Redemptive History and obviously not meant for all Christians (i.e. the Matthew 10 example I gave above. Those were specific instructions for the Apostles of the Christ on their local mission to Jewish people in Israel during the earthly ministry of the incarnate Son of God). You can also trace themes or phrases through Scripture to see how they are used throughout to arrive at a biblical understanding of how they developed from Genesis to Revelation. I did this a little bit by looking at greetings in the New Testament, but it could be expanded to look at every greeting throughout the whole Bible to come to a deeper understanding of how God’s people greet each other.
Systematic Theology: We can look at what all of Scripture has to say about one topic and synthesize the texts so as to arrive at a clear teaching on the topic. This is similar to the above with a slight difference. Typically, Biblical Theology traces how something might develop throughout Scripture where Systematic Theology tends to focus on arriving at a clear definition of a truth from Scripture.
Historic Theology: This refers to studying what the global church has believed Scripture teaches on certain topics for the past 2,000 years. This way we can see if our specific topic has been addressed before and what have been acceptable interpretations for the main of Christianity. I only briefly mentioned that the holy kiss passages seem to be difficult for scholars that I’ve read. This discipline can be endless because there are always so many views expressed by various parts of the Church throughout history. Perhaps the most fruitful way to utilize this tool is to look at what, in general, has been an acceptable interpretation by the main line of the church through history as well as looking at what has clearly been labeled as false teaching.
Is the Holy Kiss an Ordinance?
Some groups that are known to practice the holy kiss do so as part of weekly worship because of a belief that it is an ordinance given to the church.[3] In the 2022 printing of the Holdeman Mennonite publication Bible Doctrine and Practice, it says on page 324, “We greet one another in this way because it is an ordinance commanded in the Bible; it is not an option.” This is followed by a quotation of 1 John 5:3 which says, “For this is the love of God, that we keep his commandments: and his commandments are not grievous.”
The English word “ordinance” has various meanings: It is “a rule established by authority.” It is an “observance commanded;” also “an appointment.” And, more religiously, it is an “established rite or ceremony.”[4] “Ordinance” is used by the King James Version, translating multiple words, with these various definitions, all throughout Scripture. Notably, it is used in Hebrews nine to refer to the rules and regulations of the worship of the Mosaic covenant. This chapter explains how that covenant, along with its religious ceremonies, has been done away with—fulfilled in Christ, who has offered a better and eternal sacrifice and thus become the mediator of the new covenant, inaugurating a new way of worshiping the one true God.
When we look in the New Testament to see what kind of corporate worship Jesus has ordered for his church we find things like teaching (Matthew 28:18–20) and preaching (2 Timothy 4:2), singing (Colossians 3:16), Scripture reading (1 Timothy 4:13), praying (1 Timothy 2:1), and baptism (Matthew 28:18–20) and the Lord’s Supper (Matthew 26:26–28).
However, in Protestant churches, the word “ordinance” has come to specifically refer to baptism and the Lord’s Supper only as the two visible signs of spiritual realities which the church practices in the worship gathering.
Because of this, the holy kiss commanded in the New Testament is not an ordinance because it is not a religious observance commanded by Christ peculiar to the new covenant people of God when they gather for worship. It was simply a cultural custom (that existed at least since the time of Isaac in Genesis) that Paul and Peter commanded to be sanctified in Christian fellowship with a pure heart of genuine love.
Is My Church Healthy? Practical Application
If you are coming from a background that has emphasized the holy kiss, then answering these interpretation questions is extremely practical. The way the texts concerning this greeting are interpreted/applied by a church’s teachers and preachers may determine whether or not it is a church you want to be a part of. If you are currently in a church that practices the holy kiss, below are some questions to think through as you discern whether or not it is a healthy church.
First, does the church you currently attend teach that to not kiss in your greeting of one another is a sin? If someone chose not to kiss, would they be considered as living in unrepentant sin? Would it come under church discipline? Is it taught that any churches that don’t practice the kiss are promoting sin and are therefore not truly following Christ? Do they say it can only be a certain kind of kiss to certain people? Where do they get those stipulations? Do they teach that if their tradition is not obeyed then it would be sin?
I ask these questions because they can help us discern if a church may be falling into the negative form of tradition that the New Testament talks about. If the church prioritizes their traditions over the teaching of Scripture in any way, it is actually falling into the same sin that the Pharisees did—the sin of legalism that Jesus was confronting in the Gospels.
If you think your church might be holding human traditions on the same level as Scripture, or even putting them above Scripture, then it is time to find a different church. Legalism is a serious issue that distorts the gospel message just as much as licentiousness. Legalistic worship is vain worship that is not received by God (Luke 18:9–14).
A true church and a true Christian looks to Christ for all they need for salvation. There are no rules or laws or standards that can save us or improve us. It is only by grace that we are saved through faith in Christ.
The Good News Concerning Kissing
The kiss was only a cultural custom; it is not a prescriptive command to the church. However, being a cultural custom, it was still full of meaning. It conveyed trust, intimacy. It should have always conveyed genuine love and fellowship. But there was a significant moment in Scripture when the kiss was used hypocritically to betray our Lord.
Matthew 26:47–49 tells us about this moment: “And while he yet spake, lo, Judas, one of the twelve, came, and with him a great multitude with swords and staves, from the chief priests and elders of the people. Now he that betrayed him gave them a sign, saying, Whomsoever I shall kiss, that same is he: hold him fast. And forthwith he came to Jesus, and said, Hail, master; and kissed him.”
Jesus was betrayed with a kiss, illegally arrested, tried, condemned to death, and then executed by crucifixion. It was the misuse of this cultural custom that led to the death of Christ. However, on this side of the cross, I am thankful for the cross because through it, I am forgiven of all my sins. All my hypocrisy and legalism, all my pride and judgment of others; it’s all forgiven. I receive mercy because Jesus received God’s justice in my place. In fact, the cross is where mercy and truth meet. It is where righteousness and peace kiss (Psalm 85:10).
Since we are saved from our sins by faith in Christ’s life, death and resurrection, let us forsake all legalism, leaning on Christ’s righteousness alone to earn our salvation. Let’s endeavor to obey what Christ has commanded in the way he commanded it, carefully examining Scripture to make sure whatever teaching we hear is really the truth (Acts 17:11).
—Ethan Greer
References
[1] Bible Doctrine and Practice (Moundridge, KS: Gospel Publishers, 2022), 324.
[2] 9Marks, “On Why New Testament Polity Is Prescriptive with Bobby Jamieson | PastorsTalk Ep. 224,” 9Marks (podcast page), accessed February 26, 2026, https://www.9marks.org/episode/on-why-new-testament-polity-is-prescriptive-with-bobby-jamieson-pastors-talk-ep-224/.
[3] Bible Doctrine and Practice, 324.
[4] Noah Webster, Webster’s Dictionary 1828, s.v. “ordinance,” accessed March 4, 2026, https://webstersdictionary1828.com/Dictionary/ordinance.
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