Not sure about Berean Holiness? Check out what our readers are saying! Listen to their stories, and allow real-life experiences to challenge and inform your perspective. (Some names have been changed for anonymity.)
Quick Links:
B. W. (1), Ashleigh B., Anonymous, Vanessa P., Tyler C., A. D. (1), Sarah M., Genny, Janese Fridley, E., K. R., A PK Who Didn’t Want to Lose His Faith Over Shorts, Kaden T. Natalie S. M., A. D. (2), Abby O., Phil Sparks
J. M., B., Victoria, Bethany, Tabitha T., Megan, B. W. (2), M. B., Hannah, Sarah
“My husband and I finally had the knowledge to back up what we had felt in our spirit for so long.”
“I prayed about leaving the Apostolic church for over a year before discovering Berean Holiness. The small groups, articles, videos, and posts taught me more than I could ever imagine. My husband and I finally had the knowledge to back up what we had felt in our spirit for so long. We have since found a healthy non denominational church (with leadership who also left the holiness movement). It has been a BLESSING. I am so thankful for the Berean Holiness Ministry!”
– B. W.
“I had people telling me that they thought I was falling for a trick of the enemy by leaving.”
“Berean Holiness helped me during the scariest time of my life. Transitioning from an unhealthy church environment to a healthy one can be very lonely and scary. I had people telling me that they thought I was falling for a trick of the enemy by leaving. That can leave you questioning your experiences and what God has taught you for yourself through His word. Berean Holiness provided evidence that I wasn’t alone in my concerns, and that is worth so much.”
– Ashleigh B.
“I am finally starting to see church as a safe refuge rather than a war zone.”
“For most of my life, my entire worldview, my identity, my relationship with my family was all built exclusively on the Apostolic Pentecostal faith. I was raised in a small WPF (Worldwide Pentecostal Fellowship) church in Mississippi, as a fifth generation Pentecostal. My family was a cornerstone of the church, as the oldest members that attended. I was taught (practically from birthday) that our way— Jesus name baptism, speaking in tongues— was the right way… the only way. We were not allowed to have tvs, not allowed to do anything semi permanent to our hair (cutting, dying, etc.), not allowed to show our collar bones, knees, elbows… the list goes on.
I was, however, sent to a public school, and later went on to attend a nonPentecostal university. For me, education was essentially the only place where I saw outside of my home community. For example, I remember, very vividly learning that Baptists weren’t polytheists, and that other denominations actually did love and serve God. Realizations like these started to slowly unravel my worldview. It wasn’t until 2020 (when my home church underwent a really traumatic change in leadership) that I started to feel myself “drifting.” I had always been taught that to have a relationship with God meant “going deeper” in the spirit, praying longer, reading your Bible more. Essentially, if you weren’t growing, you were stagnant, and as a result, nothing was ever enough. During this time, I was also struggling with sexual sin, and I vividly remember laying in my bed, sobbing, asking God to forgive me for what felt like hours. But somehow I never felt forgiven, or loved, or comforted. I just felt the weight of everything I wasn’t doing right. And so, I essentially decided that God hated me. This lead me to the darkest depression I have ever experienced, during which I struggled with constant suicidal thoughts and secret self-harm.
After I graduated with my undergraduate degree, I decided to move states to attend grad school. My hope was that I could start over. I could go to a new church, find a new community, and repair my mental health and faith. And it actually worked… for a short time. I realized that although I wasn’t cutting myself or contemplating suicide anymore, I didn’t actually believe God loved me. I had just compartmentalized my life from my faith. During the week, I lived the best I could (mostly happy) and on Sundays I went to church to see a God that was forever mad at me, and who I couldn’t ever appease. Instead, I found the nicest dresses, the cutest heels, the best hairdos… so that at least the pretty, sparkling church people might accept me into their elite ranks. Ultimately that didn’t work either. I wound up alone, confused, hiding in the bathrooms during harsh sermons while I silently sobbed on the floor.
I ended up leaving the church in 2023 in the second year of my Master’s degree. I had been working on my thesis, which was about women that leave hyper fundamentalist groups. After contacting Berean Holiness for help with finding participants, I interviewed so many women whose stories were so similar to mine. For the first time in my life, I felt like I wasn’t completely alone in my experiences. I started attending my church less and less. Instead, I went to the Berean Holiness community groups. I studied their resources. I reached out to women in my area that were part of the Berean Holiness family. And finally, I was able to fully leave the Pentecostal church.
Although there is still so many challenges I’m navigating as a result of leaving, I have finally begun to believe in God’s love. I am finally able to trust that salvation is not a fragile thing, and that it won’t slip through my fingers at every wrong turn. I am finally starting to see church as a safe refuge rather than a war zone. I owe this transformation first to God and second to Berean Holiness and the friends I have made through it. There is no doubt in my mind that God— not the vindictive God I used to run from but the loving one I have come to know— uses Berean Holiness to minister to people (like me) who truly don’t know him. And for that I am forever grateful.”
– Anonymous
“I love and am thankful to support this vital ministry.”
“Berean Holiness has been an integral part of supporting our family as we are navigating our faith journey of leaving a fundamentalist group. It has been helpful as we have looked for a good Gospel centered church body and it has provided much needed support through its small groups and in fostering relationships between those of us who are transitioning into mainstream Christian denominations. I love and am thankful to support this vital ministry.”
– Vanessa P.
“God opened my eyes to the legalist mentality that I had and how far I was actually from him and his holiness.”
“Berean Holiness and Natalie Edmonson have been very helpful in my transitioning from being a staunch ‘holiness’ standard supporter. Don’t get me wrong I believe standards are necessary, as long as they are biblical and can be 100% proved in scripture.
Too many time we do the opposite of what the scriptures state, and we allow our personal convictions to override our view of scriptures and others spiritual walks. We need to prefer our bros and sis over ourselves, and sometimes that rubs us the wrong way.
A few years ago, God opened my eyes to the legalist mentality that I had and how far I was actually from him and his holiness. Yes, I was a ‘holiness’ preacher and lived all the standards, but my heart was far from Him. It was through God’s grace and the information from Berean Holiness that helped me navigate my life and help me get a healthy view of scriptures.”
– Tyler C.
“They’ve helped me understand and realize the freedoms and grace I have in Christ.”
“Berean Holiness was an amazing resource that helped me discover the biblical truth about standards that the UPCI teaches as hard truth. They’ve helped me understand and realize the freedoms and grace I have in Christ. It’s a wonderful community to ask hard questions without fear or shame or guilt.”
– A. D.
“The ‘holiness’ standards I adhered to out of fear was an idol…”
“I love the work that Berean Holiness is doing. I do still wear skirts, keep my hair long/uncut and I don’t wear makeup, but I will say that that is just a personal preference of mine, although I no longer believe Christian women who do so will go ‘straight to hell’ like I was raised to believe. I no longer believe Christian men who shave their heads, grow beards, wear shorts and sleeveless shirts will go ‘straight to hell,’ either. I no longer believe that wearing jewelry is a sin, along with other things. I realized when I first started really studying Scripture and distancing myself from the charismatic cult I grew up in, that the ‘holiness’ standards I adhered to out of fear was an idol and completely legalistic with zero logic behind it. I love that I can ask you guys literally all of the questions and not be silenced or rebuked or labeled rebellious or divisive. I’m so thankful for Berean Holiness! I have been calling myself a Berean Holiness (Trinitarian) Christian as of the past few years ❤”
– Sarah M.
“Reading your content gave me so much courage, clarity and peace.”
“…THANK YOU. Thank you so much for what you do, you have no idea how it’s impacted my life. When I came across your account I could hardly believe a resource like that existed – it’s like you were talking to me and the exact belief system and unhealthy church setting I was raised in. Reading your content gave me so much courage, clarity and peace while I was in the middle of untangling the truth about God from the twisted rules I’d been fed my whole life. You helped give me the strength to leave that church movement this spring. Thank you for letting God use you in this way.”
– Genny
“I was rooted in my standards instead of God.”
“I found y’all in the beginning of disentangling. God sent, no doubt! I was seeking answers and God provided. It’s been a long journey for over 19 yrs. I backslid for 13 years because of the hate I felt when I first left the Pentecostal Holiness Church. I was taught for 15 years that this movement was the ONLY way to heaven. I tried in vain to attend ‘worldly’ churches but I was still battling, so I just gave up. I figured God didn’t want me. My problem was this, I was rooted in my standards instead of God. And when trouble came, I fell. When I came back to the Lord in the beginning of 2020, I battled for 3 years going back and forth with standards and trying to find the truth. I held on to God this time because I was truly born again. I was studying His Word and clinging to Him! I am happy to say after bouncing back and forth I am completely out and done with the PHC. I am free! I am happy! I am saved! Now I know what it really means to be saved, to have a relationship with Jesus. Thank you for all you do! Keep on keeping on because you are truly a blessing!”
– Janese Fridley
“I felt like I could never be a Christian or measure up to the requirements...”
“I left the CHM at 18yo. I left the churches confused and uncertain of what my next steps were. I spent almost 10 years running from God because I felt like I could never be a Christian or measure up to the requirements that I thought were expected of me.
2.5 years ago I rededicated my life to Christ. And this past year I have been growing in my faith even more so.
Berean Holiness has played a huge part in helping me understand what I went through and the battle I fought for so many years in my own mind. Thank you for not backing down when people try to silence you. There are so many of us who are struggling and need the voice and need the Biblical guidance to help us get back on the right track. I am so happy to say I have finally found my place as a child of God and I couldn’t be more at peace, happy and free in his Grace, Peace and Love.”
– E.
“That was truly life changing to see scripture without any denominational lens.”
“Berean has been instrumental in the journey of disentanglement & rebuilding my belief system. Through their small groups, in person conference, posts & articles, and by cultivating friendships I would more than likely never have had. Through a small group, I was able to come to a full understanding of God’s grace in a way that was never preached or taught. Because fear was always the basis of all teaching/preaching. That was truly life changing to see scripture without any denominational lens.
I was able to find community amongst those on the same journey as me. Knowing I wasn’t alone was key to feeling like I could safely pull away from my high control organization. The support has been incredible & I wholeheartedly believe the Lord knew we would need that support long before we left.”
– K. R.
“Thank you for showing me that I wasn’t crazy for having questions.”
“In 2020 I began to ask questions and you guys were the first source I found. Thank you for showing me that I wasn’t crazy for having questions. I have since started attending a healthy non-denominational church and am growing in Christ more than I ever have. You will never know what your articles did for me and I am forever grateful to God for your ministry.”
– A PK Who Didn’t Want to Lose His Faith Over Shorts
“I had never seen my mom so excited about the Bible being talked about online until you all“
“Berean Holiness first came to my attention when we had recently left a holiness church and were still dealing with the hurt. We felt very alone, especially because our family was directly involved with the church split (although not the cause) and even blamed by those who stayed.
I had never seen my mom so excited about the Bible being talked about online until you all. The zeal you stirred in our house to make us realize we can escape legalism and find another loving body of believers was incredible.”
– Kaden T.
“I knew certain things… were not biblical. But I had never been able to explain exactly why…”
“Berean Holiness truly helped me to understand and vocalize why so many extremely legalistic and actually unbiblical things I had grown up with and observed in my church and the ones we were affiliated with for many years had never aligned with my heart although I tried so hard to understand. I knew certain things (such as clothing standards, etc) were not biblical. But I had never been able to explain exactly why (for some things) until the last couple years of reading/listening to Berean Holiness share historic and scriptural references and help me to vocalize what the Holy Spirit had shown me years previously.
The church I grew up in is/was very niche, beginning with the Full Gospel Businessmen’s Fellowship and Word of Faith movement in the 70’s and branching from there with a similarity to Pentecostal doctrine, but very specific doctrinal differences that were shown to the original leader through ‘visions.’ The lack of being part of a denomination and the exclusivity and pride of these churches caused a severe lack of accountability and ease of spiritually abusing the church members and keeping things under wraps. Going to the doctor was akin to backsliding (healing is by faith alone, i.e. not ‘going to the arm of the flesh’), our churches were part of an ‘overcoming army’ who would be raptured first (thus, anyone who they didn’t think was an ‘overcomer’ was looked down upon as a lesser Christian and sometimes publicly scorned). Those are just two main ‘doctrinal’ points that set this movement apart from others. Each church in this group had slight differences such as in one it was ok for the girls to wear pajama pants to bed or pants for sports, but in another they had to wear nightgowns and ankle-length skirts. In one, some of the high school graduates were deemed mature enough to handle college, in another, college was spoken against and those who went were discouraged greatly because it was ‘part of the world’s system.’ In one it was ok to celebrate Thanksgiving, but in some it was never ok to celebrate any holiday whatsoever…the list goes on.
Anyway, needless to say, my journey has been long and specifically in the last 5 years I’ve been able to articulate better why I don’t believe most of these things are right and are, in fact, abuse. Berean Holiness has been SOOO encouraging as I take the next steps forward in my walk with Jesus and heal from traumatic church experiences.”
– Natalie S. M.
“I struggled to separate twisted Scriptures and ideas from good things I was being taught and good fellowship I was part of.”
“I grew up in a church that was mostly biblically-sound but had some unhealthy misapplications of Scripture, namely in handling when people left, navigating drama, and equating busyness with faithfulness (I had something going on almost every day of the week, and if you didn’t participate in most things, you were viewed as unfaithful or worldly). I struggled to separate twisted Scriptures and ideas from good things I was being taught and good fellowship I was part of. It was a place that felt like there was plenty of grace for the sinner getting saved, but the saved needed to walk a tight line to stay in good graces with God and others. I’m still undoing a lot of anxious overthinking from being in an environment where any activity or thing that isn’t directly God-related can be an idol or distraction from living spiritually. God used people like my husband (then-boyfriend), my current church, and resources like Berean Holiness to give me confidence that I really CAN trust the Bible and the Holy Spirit to be enough in cultivating the life and relationship with Jesus that He wants me to have. I’ve seen that a walk with the Lord can be so joyful and sweet instead of fearful or barring one from enjoying life. And I’ve learned that His never ending love and kindness is such a powerful force that drives my walk with Him forward—I believe it was Martin Luther who said, ‘How can I love a God who hates me?’ And that’s exactly where I used to be. I’m still un-learning and learning many hard lessons, but I’m so thankful God didn’t let me give up on the hope that I can enjoy a secure relationship with Him and that good churches don’t need to come with even ‘legalism-lite’ attached.”
– A. D.
“The lingering fears I once had regarding some of the extra-Biblical requirements have left me.“
“Even though I had already done much research and Bible study for myself about “holiness” standards, I found so much value in the clear, easy to understand way that Berean Holiness has presented information. The lingering fears I once had regarding some of the extra-Biblical requirements have left me. It is refreshing and encouraging to see other people’s stories who have come through the same things. I deeply appreciate the hard work that Berean Holiness has put into helping people truly disentangle from false gospels. I have recommended it to to a few friends who were also struggling and I feel like it has tremendously helped them as well.”
– Abby O.
“God has use y’all to help me become a stronger Christian.“
“I can remember having so many questions about the Conservative Holiness Movement and the beliefs that I grew up with. I knew that I was leaning away from what I was taught, but I was still having trouble with the chapter and verse thing. I knew the direction that I was heading in my walk with God, but I couldn’t always put it into words. Enter Berean Holiness. They talked IN DEPTH about some of the very issues that I was wrestling with! The effort that is put into the articles and social media posts was mind blowing! And, it was solid, Biblical teaching!
Fast forward to today. I visit Berean Holiness in some form on a daily basis. They make me think and challenge me to go outside of the fundamentalist box that I was raised in. I still use them as a source to this day and recommend them to others. Keep up the good work, guys! God has use y’all to help me become a stronger Christian.”
– Phil Sparks
“My entire picture of faith growing up was based on how someone looked or what they wore.”
“I can’t tell you how much your articles and posts encourage me. Finding faith after leaving the holiness movement was a struggle for me for a long time. I’ve finally wrestled long enough and the last year I’ve started really drawing close in that faith. I’ve actually began sharing my faith, and even recently joined a Bible study. It’s all very frightening for me — but I know there’s a huge body of believers out there that are welcoming people like me with open arms. I can truly say that my entire picture of faith growing up was based on how someone looked or what they wore. I didn’t even know if I believed the Jesus thing — but I knew rings were of the devil. It’s crazy what sitting under teaching that truly honors god can do. I’m now so secure in my faith in Jesus and it’s rocking my whole world. Please pray for me that I would be able to better lead my family.” – J. M.
“I want to say thank you for helping a ‘Holiness girl’ like yourself realize that I am not alone.”
“I want to say thank you for bringing to light so many issues that everyone else is afraid to speak about. I want to say thank you for helping a ‘Holiness girl’ like yourself realize that I am not alone. Within the last few years, I have gone through a lot of questions about what I believe. I truly understood where you were coming from when reading your article [Idolized Identity]. It made me realize a lot of what you were saying, I had been feeling. I just didn’t know how to put it into words. So I want to say thank you for speaking truth and being unafraid to do so. You have no idea how much your article helped me. It’s not that I want to be rebellious against everything I have been taught (again it sounds like you understand that). However, I have come to see that not everything I have been taught was correct nor biblical. It takes real courage to ask good questions and I am thankful Berean Holiness is doing that.” – B.
“I was so afraid because she wasn’t apostolic… but I found the courage to attend. It changed my life.”
“Thank you. That’s all I have to say. I attended a cult like church for around 8 years and was continually subjected to cult like ideals in the years prior to that. I always felt like an outcast because I didn’t agree with things the pastor was saying and viewed as a rebel because of it. I am preparing to apply for masters and PhD programs in ancient Mediterranean studies and history has always been a passion of mine. The things I was told from the pulpit did not match the things I studied and knew to be historical fact. However, I was ‘wrong’ and ‘rebellious’ because of it. College professors ‘warped my mind,’ even when I had always believed and have never questioned the plan of salvation, ie. repentence, baptism, Holy Spirit. It got to the point I was so discouraged I didn’t know why I should even read my Bible. The pastor only taught on adultery, fornication, and the tribulation. Why would I read if those were the only things in there?
– Victoria
“Part of me wants to cry with joy because you have confirmed for me what God has been doing in my life.”
“I came across your page from a young lady who shared your recent IG post. I started with one article and I’ve found myself hungrily devouring them one by one. Part of me wants to cry with joy because you have confirmed for me what God has been doing in my life. He showed me to leave my local assembly after years of being spiritually, mentally and emotionally manipulated along with my parents. God has been leading me to ministries and I’ve felt the witness of his spirit in specific teachings but was still afraid to talk openly about what has been revealed to me. There is so much I could say and want to say but there isn’t room. Its funny because many times in the last couple of months I’ve been studying or watching a teaching and I’d hear ‘berean’ in my spirit. I knew exactly what God was saying to me, so I appreciate you for what you are doing and I will certainly be praying for you and for Berean holiness. God bless.” – Bethany
“There are people who doubt my salvation because I have not returned to the Holiness movement”
“I just wanted to send a ‘Thank you’ for your FB page and website. I am a 42 yo female who was raised in a Trinitarian Free Holiness church growing up. My dad pastored the church I grew up in. I attended Christian school for 7 years at a Holiness church. My whole life was centered around the Holiness movement. I left church and went into sin when I was 27. I identified as gay and lived a homosexual lifestyle. In 2014 I even married a woman. Even through all my sin, I loved the Lord, but not enough to live for Him. Then bam, COVID hit. As a sinner I could see so many end-time related things happening in the world and it made me think about my soul. I started praying last year. There was a shift in my life and I knew I was saved. One evening while praying in my recliner, I was filled with the Holy Ghost. There I sat, saved and filled with the Holy Ghost. Yet I was in pants, had short hair, and was married to a woman. So the first thing I knew I needed to do was end my homosexual lifestyle. I got divorced and just begin to read the Bible for myself. Then a friend recommended your FB page. When dealing with a struggle I continually try to figure out if I feel something is wrong because I was told it was wrong, or if it is the Lord showing me it is wrong. I feel I am constantly trying to untangle the doctrine of the Holiness movement from my mind. Your page has been such a wonderful resource. There are people who doubt my salvation because I have not returned to the Holiness movement. All I can tell you is that I am saved and have the Holy Ghost. And in the past month alone I have been able to share my testimony with 3 different gay people who reached out to me. I lost my very best friend because she said I have changed. While it hurt, it actually encouraged me. I am a new creature in Christ who is still learning how to navigate this journey. Your FB posts so many times have been just for me. At the end of the day it does not matter what others around us think. I am only concerned with how God sees me and the truth. The truth sets us free. Thank you for sharing the truth with others and for the work you have poured into the Berean Holiness page. I see the attacks from others and you all respond with such love. I appreciate all you do!” – Tabitha T.
“We left the UPCI and were completely ostracized… Your posts are helping me see that we aren’t crazy”
“I found your Instagram page yesterday randomly (but clearly not by happenstance) and I have cried more in the past 24 hours than I care to admit. I’ve read most of your posts already and scrolled comments on them. This is the first account I’ve seen that is a concise, clear, scriptural, but loving documentation of holiness beliefs and its inconsistencies. I was a 7th generation Pentecostal in the UPCI, who grew up in the church of my grandparents who were pastors and was truly conditioned to look down on anyone (but especially women) who didn’t ‘look the part.’ I always had questions about ‘standards’ and theological stances, but was always shut down from answers. Then, in college, I met my (now) husband who was also in a UPCI church, but was reading John Piper and Tim Keller and having a different idea about the process of salvation and necessity of ‘standards.’ 4 years ago, we left the UPCI and were completely ostracized, and frequently wondered if we had made a mistake. Reading your posts are helping me see that we aren’t crazy, backslidden, ‘out of Gods will,’ or any other thing we’ve been accused of. While the point is not to feel validated in our beliefs or find confirmation bias, it’s just refreshing to see clearly articulated, well thought out articles and arguments that are free from undue judgement, sarcasm, and tribalism. I guess that’s a lot of words to just say thank you. Thank you for doing what you’re doing, posting what you’re posting, researching what you’re researching, and loving online strangers with the truth. I will be looking forward to each new post! Soli Deo Gloria!” – Megan
“I wanted to be as strict as I could so God would love me…”
“I would like to share my story with you… I, as a young ‘holiness’ woman, was this person. When I got saved and truly dedicated myself at 17 years old to the Lord, I immediately tried to look as holy as possible. I wanted to be as holy as possible and be used by God. I wanted to tell the world about the life-changing experience I had with Jesus. However, this came not through praying, but through changing my dress and living ‘stricter.’
– B. W.
“I’ve appreciated the kindness and grace that comes through the articles Nathan and Natalie have written.”
“I came across the Berean Holiness site a year or so ago, and I was instantly captivated by topics and the tone of the writers. There are three things especially that have stood out to me about Berean Holiness. First, while too much of the writing from people that have left a more conservative background has tone of bitterness, I’ve appreciated the kindness and grace that comes through the articles Nathan and Natalie have written. Online articles are sometimes poorly researched and full of logical leaps, to say nothing for the substandard writing, Berean Holiness has a standard of consistent quality that I admire. And I am impressed by the courage and balance displayed by a small group of young people, and a willingness to make themselves vulnerable for the good of others and of the church. While I may not always agree with every argument or position of Berean Holiness, I find the articles invaluable in aiding my own thinking about these important topics. I pray God blesses the work they are doing.” – M. B.
“I am left wondering how such doctrine could NOT be confronted by godly people.”
“Once you are courageous enough to begin the journey, it becomes amazingly beautiful. Beautiful as you see God opening your eyes to truth, to the difference between true guilt vs false guilt, and what the Bible actually says on so many topics. One example of the Lord opening my eyes to Biblical truth vs dangerous twisting of Scripture is when I researched the topic of grieving the Holy Spirit and ‘crossing the line,’ where preachers warned the congregation of someday wanting to repent but not being able to. I researched Hebrews 12:17, which was often used as their text. I was so amazed by The Truth. I am left wondering how such doctrine could NOT be confronted by godly people.“ – Hannah
“I lost that safety net, became ostracized by the members and was made to feel like a pariah… I [became] a self professed agnostic.”
“Berean Holiness has challenged me to think and go deeper than I ever have…”
“I just wanted to let you all know how much you encouraged me to search the Scriptures for myself, and not to live off of another’s experience. Berean Holiness has challenged me to think and go deeper than I ever have before even though at times the topic was really hard to look at from another point of view. I’m not perfect and I’m still trying daily to pursue the Truth of Scripture and to execute it with a Christlike love, but you all have had a great part in my own decision to pursue spiritual growth in the Lord. I’m forever thankful, and to God be the glory.” – A.
“I would look down on other Christians… Yet, my personal religion was in the standards.”
“Being born in this Pentecostal Trinitarian Holiness Movement, I grew up on a church pew. I was raised by strictly Holiness parents who taught me the standards and traditions of the movement.
However, for most of my life, I can look back and say I never had a true relationship with Jesus Christ. In this time, I considered myself Holiness, I lived up to the standards, and was convinced we were the only ones who had it right. I would look down on other Christians, I was proud of how fortunate I was to know the truth. Yet, my personal religion was in the standards. It wasn’t until late 2017, having come to the realization that I had missed it, did I find Jesus, and received Salvation through faith in Him. However, this bright moment was short lived. Soon enough, I started to encounter problems. I now based my spirituality on my feelings. My spiritual relationship was up and down for the course of the next 2 years, until I hit a spiritual low point, starting in September of 2019. I would now hardly pray, hardly read my Bible. It was about December when I found Berean Holiness. The articles instantly challenged me, specifically ‘Can Godly Women Wear Pants’ written by Nathan Mayo. I would read the articles, and they interested me. I began to read my Bible a lot more. While I liked some articles, I was strongly set against those more controversial. I remember first reading ‘Can Godly Women Wear Pants.’ I expected the article to actually oppose Women wearing pants, and it shocked me when I realized otherwise. I remember I began to pray on this, reading my Bible, and thinking about it. However, I quickly realized that the case against pants was simply not there, and over a few days (I reread the article I believe 4 times in this time) I internally released this standard. It was from this point that I continued onwards in my Spiritual journey. I read my Bible so much, and really studied it. I would spend weeks in various doctrines, reading, reading, and reading. I began to develop as a Christian, and have now learned to place my faith in Jesus Christ, and no longer in myself. I appreciate Nate, Natalie, Cole and their ‘Berean Holiness’ for the role they played in helping my spiritual life develop. God Bless.” – Andrew, 17
“Most of my life I just did what I was told, but never had a serious relationship with Jesus Christ.”
“God started doing a lot in my heart at the beginning of 2020. I started realizing that I didn’t know what I truly believed. Most of my life I just did what I was told, but never had a serious relationship with Jesus Christ. I started studying God’s word daily. When someone sent me Berean Holiness, I was so encouraged. Reading their articles about different subjects that I’ve had questions about was so helpful in my walk with The Lord. I’m thankful for the way they gracefully correct believers on subjects we may not be open minded about.” – Jennifer Schwickerath, 21
“Because I am secure in my relationship with Christ, I know I am not in rebellion.”
“I am so thankful for Berean Holiness!
Over the past few years, I have been faced with some things that made me take another look at a lot of things I thought I believed. It was while I was in the midst of my own praying and searching that I saw the article “Can A Godly Woman Wear Pants”. A friend shared it, it peaked my interest, so I took the time to read. I was immediately on guard because it made the point that I have always been told was a no-no. The point was that if men and women both wore robes in Bible times, then why is it a sin for women to wear pants that are cut to fit a woman today? I had been told when I was young, using that point was proof that my heart was not right. The article inspired me to begin re-reading, praying and studying more about a lot of things. I have been told since I was a teen, that if I questioned the traditions, I was in rebellion, my heart was not right and I was just trying to find a way to condone sin. I bought that logic, for about 25 years. I have been prayerfully studying things out over the past few years. Because I am secure in my relationship with Christ, I know I am not in rebellion. Questioning traditions is not a sin. But teaching traditions and personal convictions as Biblical truth, is adding to the Word of God and that IS sin. For me it goes way beyond, can I wear pants and still be saved, is jewelry wrong or can I cut my hair? It was more about trying to dig through the traditions and find the spirit behind those traditions. I wanted to know what God truly expected of me. My advice to the younger generation is to continue questioning and continue to PRAYERFULLY, search for answers. Be careful not to fall in with those who are bitter, because your search will be tainted, and satan would like nothing more than to fill you with bitterness. Remember, just because the holiness movement may have got a few things wrong, does not mean everything we’ve been taught was wrong. The Bible IS, still the inspired Word of God, even though some things were distorted in the translation by well meaning individuals in our movement. Let the Holy Spirit be your guide, HE wants you to have answers and God is not the author of confusion. Thank you Berean Holiness, for your research that served as my starting point in my own search for the answers I have been looking for since I was a teen. I will ever be grateful.” – Elizabeth, 40
“I spent nearly the first 3 decades of my life in a holiness church.”
“I spent nearly the first 3 decades of my life in a holiness church. It was all I ever knew. It was where I learned to love God, love others and love holiness as the highest path one could walk as a Christian. I was a shy girl who had an extremely low self-esteem. Yet, I learned very quickly that if I adhered to every rule that was taught as a God-given rule of living that I found favor in the eyes of those who held a position in the church. Three years at a Bible college gave me more exposure to the ministries of other holiness churches and provided opportunities to travel abroad. Influential men in the movement would say that holiness first begins on the inside and would eventually reveal itself on the outside but oddly enough it was the women who had to display the most obvious signs of “holiness”. My job required me to cross paths with many individuals who were more Christ-like in their attitude in behavior but could easily be labeled a “worldly person” by one inside our ranks. I realized that we (holiness people) were not a separated people but an isolated people. I was refrained from having a formal education. I was discouraged from having close friends outside of the movement. To ask questions concerning the teaching of the church was to openly display your rebellion against its doctrinal beliefs. Finally, after a series of events, and weeks of reading the Bible with an opened mind instead of with a holiness-tinted lens, I made the decision to leave the movement. Over 80% of my friendships were within the movement. To leave meant possible shunning or tongue-slashing. What a relief to hear several say, “We will always love you” but then months later they will not respond to a phone call, message, or Marco Polo. I expected the messages that screamed, “You know better!” and “How can you walk away from everything you’ve ever known?!” but what infuriated me most were the comments that were made publicly by people who have many ways of communicating to me directly. After 6 months, I am an independent woman who is constantly being welcomed by Christians of many different walks. I am encouraged to ask questions of the clergy in my new church, whereas there was a fear to even think of questioning holiness doctrine out of fear that I would be labeled a rebel. I am now rid of that fear and embrace opportunities to fight for social justice, stand up for the abused and believe the same doctrines that the early church fathers taught for centuries. I am thankful for the effort that Berean Holiness makes in their research and the writing of their thought-provoking articles. Among the first that encouraged me in my search for answers while I was still in the HM are, Replacing Rules with Discipleship and Where Do We Draw the Lines? If there are any concerns or questions that a sincere seeker has then I urge them to write to any of these authors. I am assured that they will respond in a kind and gentle manner.” – Elizabeth, 30
“I’m a young adult in the Holiness Movement who has struggled a lot with my faith…”
“I’m a young adult in the Holiness Movement who has struggled a lot with my faith since I was 14 years old. From a young age, I have been considered an example of a good Christian in the movement. I’m a preacher’s kid who has kept the standard and has been active in ministry both inside and outside the church. However, questions have eaten at me immensely, and I see this in many other young adults and teenagers. However, we don’t know where we can turn to, because, we hear the judging comments made about other people who dared to question. Critical thinking and questions are often shunned, and instead of those we look up to providing us with answers, we are left feeling even more confused – lacking the answers we search for. Many are leaving the church because of it. There were times when I didn’t know what I believed in or if I believed, and I didn’t know who I could turn to with my questions, so, I searched for answers myself. 3 years after I initially started to form my own beliefs, I found this website before it was officially launched and have been following it ever since. While, I don’t agree with the authors on a lot of things; I do admire their search for the truth and their willingness to stand up for what they believe in. Their perspectives helped me see things in a different light and introduced me to a community of people who are searching for truth – not out of bitterness – but out of love for God and mankind. I want to see that community fostered in my church. When did church go from being a help to the spiritually ill to where, sadly, in some churches today, it’s a show of who can appear to be more holy? There’s many Christians out there who we can love and fellowship with – rather than dividing over little things. If you want to win the world, the more you have on your side, the better. The body of Christ is to be as united as possible! Staying secluded and trying to hold onto what you have instead of sharing the Gospel like it needs to be shared, will only hurt the Kingdom of God. There are many things the holiness movement can share with the whole body of Christ that can propel His Kingdom. Even if we disagree, I will still love you and all I ask is the same in return. Have compassion for those who see things differently than you do. Let’s open the conversation and allow people to ask questions without judgment. We are all different and we need that diversity of thought to propel us to look outside of the norm and see that there’s a whole lot of uncapped potential we’re missing out on. That’s why I am thankful for Berean Holiness – they are willing to challenge and question despite the pushback, because they want to see the Kingdom move forward.” – A. M.
“No Christian or Christian group has the license to interpret Scripture in isolation.”
“To draw from the words of the writing of St. Jude, Christians are called to “contend for the faith that was once for all delivered to the saints” (Jude 3 ESV). After all, writes Jude, we share a common salvation. His exhortation signifies a certain finality to the Gospel in the sense that the message is to be repeated just as it was received. In the same vein, the teaching and experience of each Christian should display some sense of uniformity. The Christianity I profess should not look different from the Christianity described by the Apostles, the early Church, and the orthodox Christians scattered across the globe today. No Christian or Christian group has the license to interpret Scripture in isolation. Rather, God’s message is to be received, considered, interpreted, applied, and repeated in the community of the catholic Church (the Church of all times and all places). Bereanholiness.com serves the church in a meaningful, relevant way by employing the voice of the whole Church when grappling with difficult doctrines, opinions, and (dare I say) heresies. It aims to shine the light of tradition, history, and honest Biblical exegesis on issues that are otherwise interpreted in the dark. Each article, despite its reception, is thoughtful, well-intended, and well-researched. For the orthodox Christian professing the purest form of the Gospel, this site aids in sharpening his Christian diction and broadening his understanding of the history and Biblical context of the doctrine he holds. For the misled heretic, this site cuts out the “middle men” of opinion and Bible-abuse and points him back to the kind of Christianity that was “once delivered” and has been faithfully preserved throughout the ages.” – Morgan
“Every friend I ever had no longer would talk to me.”
I grew up in a faith called “free holiness.” This faith is very similar to other Pentecostal/holiness denominations, but they certainly seem to set themselves, or try to set themselves apart from other religions with the same name. Free holiness beliefs included women not cutting their hair, women wearing dresses, men wearing long pants, and men being unshaven. We were taught to “abstain from the world” by avoiding places such as ballgames, movie theaters, bowling alleys, playing golf, and other things. Depending on what church you attended in this movement you may also be taught that Disney World, Amusement parks, and even the smoky mountains should be avoided. Free holiness believe in receiving the Holy Ghost with the evidence of speaking in tongues. While these beliefs might not seem very different, there was one major caveat that does. Free holiness churches teach that it once you receive the Holy Ghost you are now able to live free from sin. Scriptures such as Hebrews 10:26 are used to scare those in the faith that if they do commit sin they are forever bound for hell with no hope of ever being forgiven. I received the Holy Ghost when I was 9 years old. I did speak in tongues, and I do believe that I truly received his spirit. After about a week of having the Holy Ghost my mom asked me if I had taken something from my sister that didn’t belong to me. Afraid of telling the truth and getting in trouble I chose to tell a lie by saying no. I knew what I did was wrong and I immediately began to fear that I had sinned with the dread that hell was my certain eternity. I didn’t tell anyone about my failure and went back to church. I remember service being really good, and I felt the Lord like I had before. I thought well I must not have been lying in God’s eyes because I’m feeling him. Little did I know this was the beginning of many missteps. See, in free holiness, sin is kind of classified into those that are visible (i.e. adultery, fornication, drunkenness) and those that are “matters of the heart” such as wrath, malice, whispering, and backbiting. Anyone who commits sin is excommunicated from the church. That person is no longer allowed to participate in worship service. They are viewed as being in the eternal hands of Satan, and many shun the person who has chosen to leave the church. A year ago I made this decision. Every friend I ever had no longer would talk to me. People in the store who were still free holiness would turn the other way when they saw me to avoid talking to me. The friends I had suddenly stopped talking to me, and I was completely, utterly alone. My family still loved me, but they would have rather seen me be laid in the grave than to know I’d left the church. Many who leave have become hooked on drugs and alcohol due to the constant narrative that they are hell bound. I wondered around trying to decide if what I had been told was true. Was I really doomed to spend eternity in hell? Had I “given up the Holy Ghost?” We were told we’d lay awake at night with a dread of dying, yet I never felt this. One day all I knew to do was get down and pray to God. After all, what did I have to lose? If nothing happened fine I’d just accept my fate, but if something did happen then maybe just maybe there was hope. I began to pray to God and all of a sudden I felt his spirit. I felt the same prescience I had felt for 25 years in the free holiness church. I was overwhelmed with happiness. What I had been told could never happen again had happened. I had felt God! My family has pretty much accepted my change. My true friends have came back around and no longer shun me. God has also allowed me to be connected with others who have left the church and have realized that there is hope. For anyone who maybe reading this do not give up! You are still his child! He didn’t leave the 99 to find a sheep that wasn’t his. He left to find that one who had wondered astray. Thank God for his mercy and his everlasting Grace! God Bless, – J. C.
“I pretty much thought that if anyone was in pants they were going straight to hell…”
“I grew up pretty strict Pentecostal Holiness and so did my parents. That was our lives. We knew how we were expected to dress and how to be “accepted” so to speak in these churches. But I really do believe that God used the Coronavirus shut down and the time away from our church to open our eyes to a lot of toxic and damaging things that were happening that we were conditioned to. I could go into detail but long story short my parents ended up leaving the church I grew up in. I grew up being taught (not necessarily by my parents but by my pastors) to have a “more holy than thou” attitude and I pretty much thought that if anyone was in pants they were going straight to hell and anyone who wasn’t from our church is going to backslide (I’ve literally heard my previous pastor say that). It wasn’t until I was around 18-19 years old until I started to realize that wasn’t the case. I got married this year and moved away from all of that and I can’t even begin to explain to you how much God has helped me to understand that he has children everywhere that aren’t “Pentecostal Holiness”. I had the privilege of being in revival services with a particular evangelist this year and I have almost never met a more dedicated and anointed family.. and his wife wears pants, earrings, makeup, etc.. several years ago I would have been convinced they were going to hell and that they have to be “false prophets”. Moral of the long story is.. Your blog, posts, pages have been an amazing source for me to work through a lot of the confusion I was facing coming out of the mindset I had seared into my brain from a young age. So thank you, and keep on!” – M. R.
“I had some doubts about my non-holiness friends’ salvation…”
“I first came across Berean Holiness while searching for verses about what exactly a woman’s clothing should be. I had some doubts about my non-holiness friends’ salvation because of their decision to wear pants. The big question was this, “Are my Christian friends wrong for wearing pants?” This question was really important to me. Because if my friends were wrong for doing this as their Sister in Christ I should let them know lovingly what scripture says and encourage them to turn from their sin. Or if my initial opinion of what the scripture says about pants was mistaken I would see that my friends were continuing in their faith and just dressed differently because they were never taught the symbolic principles behind wearing a skirt (exclusive femininity, honor of past traditions, etc.) In the end after reading resources, examining scripture, prayer, and thoughtful consideration I came to the conclusion that modest clothing can include pants. Berean Holiness helped me come to a solid decision on my beliefs with their concise and unbiased examination and commentary. Love their site!” – Naomi M., 16
“…We didn’t leave because we were bitter or wanting to quit living the standards.”
“We left the Holiness movement over a year ago and we didn’t leave because we were bitter or wanting to quit living the standards. I’m 31 and I still follow many of the Holiness standards. We left because of a lack of discipleship, evangelism and Bible study etc. I personally still agree with some of the doctrines the Holiness people teach. Although I do still agree with some doctrines and for the most part follow the standards I have been demoted from “sister” to sinner by many of them simply because I no longer faithfully attend a Holiness church. There are many things that I love about the Holiness people for example their fear of God, their love for prayer, high standard of modesty, desire to be different from the world and the way they worship in church. Last summer, my husband and I began to study our Bibles diligently and came to different conclusions than what we had been taught all of our lives. I’m saddened at the fact many people that leave their churches because of error and then live as if God isn’t real or in error. God’s Word is truth and we need more people devoted to studying out God’s Word and willing to accept whatever truths we may find even if it’s contrary to the way we were always taught. While I can appreciate Berean Holiness’ goal to search out truth and tell it in their many articles, I can also see how many Holiness people feel threatened by it. As a Holiness young person we were shown their doctrines and then told to pray through so you could “get it for yourself” and once you did you felt as if anyone who taught against that was devilish.” – Stephanie
“I grew up in a very conservative but dysfunctional Mennonite home…”
“I was delighted to come across Berean Holiness because I felt like I found some friends who are also trying to sort through all the religious and spiritual things we as Christians of different “denominations” are taught. Also the article that was just shared the other day that Natalie wrote on how to treat people who change whether it be churches or dress touched me deeply and brought tears to my eyes for it described in detail how I want to treat others despite being treated totally opposite except by very few people when I made changes in my life. I grew up in a very conservative but dysfunctional Mennonite home, our transportation was horse and buggy mostly, a dress code, no internet or cell phones amongst other things just to give you an idea. As I grew old enough to understand the Bible I realized my parents did differently than the Bible taught which caused much confusion. My childhood was full of hopelessness and I didn’t know what love was either. Most of the time I dealt with suicidal thoughts and only fear kept me from attempting it. My mom had done Bible lessons through the mail as a young girl and wanted her children to also do them. When I was around 16 the one lesson had a prayer to pray if you want to be saved. I prayed it sincerely longing for something better. Over the next several years I felt no change and prayed that prayer several more times thinking perhaps I didn’t pray it right. (Looking back now I can see from that first prayer my desires started changing and I still remember the first time I made the hard choice to not run with the wrong crowd.)I started seeking God in the only ways I knew, reading the Bible and wishing I could know this God and not be afraid of Him like I was of my dad. The suicidal thoughts and hopelessness grew worse until my parents found out and sent me for help. Over the years through much counseling I gradually grew better to the point that I realized that the atmosphere at home was poisonous so I moved out. After many moves, I finally had a place of my own and had a job working for a Holiness Pentecostal couple. I believe God had to get me alone and 5 hours away from my family so that I’d have the courage to step out. I gradually learned to trust my employers and they taught me so much and some questions I had everyone just gave opinions till I finally set down with the Bible and asked God to show me what to believe and He did. I came to the realization that staying with the denomination I grew up with would only be to please my parents and that with what God had showed me in His Word I couldn’t stay. So I chose to follow God. I lost all my friends. My relationship with my family is strained. I had to learn how to drive a car so I could get to church which is currently 3 hours from where I live as God has not yet opened the door for me to move. My pastor’s wife and a missionary friend are my closest friends. But God has been so good to me! He is so kind and gentle to me. I am so grateful that He kept me from taking my life and instead gave me a life beyond my wildest dreams. Out of that stems a gratefulness that compels me to reach, help, and encourage anyone I can because I believe that what God has done with my life He can do for anyone else. No one is excluded. Sure, I still have plenty of struggles, loneliness being one of the greatest ones, but being able to live for God with purpose far outweighs the bad! My daily prayer is that I could just be a vessel God can use to help one more person… P.S. I wrote my story which you can find here.” – Kathryn Hoover www.lighthopetruth.com
“Whatever you do, don’t be afraid to change your mind.”
“It’s been said before and it’s true today. There is little more powerful than a changed mind. In Acts 9, Saul made his way down the road of Damascus carrying papers justifying the murder of converted Christians. As he traveled no one expected the world was about to be changed. This once legalistic Pharisee and persecutor of the church had an encounter with Jesus that he or anyone else ever saw coming. A single changed mind that changed more than a name that changed the world Our world criticizes a changed mind. If a politician changes their stance they are labeled as inconsistent, weak, and easily influenced. They are mocked by both sides of the political spectrum and their motive questioned. If you’re a CEO and change your mind on a policy; your authority and leadership ability is questioned and inevitably rumors spread and people wonder how much longer the leader will be there. If a believer changes their mind they are marked by those that once called them brother/sister, they are labeled a compromiser by once close friends and family often they are disowned by those they once held close. In Saul’s case, after his meeting with Jesus, everything changed. His name was changed from Saul to Paul His ideologies changed, his mission changed, his purpose changed. His friends changed. Those he once worked for and alongside set out to see him discredited and destroyed. No doubt if you have been in the holiness movement any length of time you have heard more than one message preached about the radical transformation of Paul, usually accompanied with 2 Corinthians 5:17 “…If any man be in Christ, he is a new creature: old things are passed away and behold all things have become new.” Its a great sermon, but it isn’t entirely accurate. Most preachers leave out the fact that Paul was a Pharisee, not a worldly sinner. Being a Pharisee meant that Paul was very educated when it came to Jewish teachings. He was a part of the established religious brotherhood, he sat at the feet of great theologians and religious leaders of his day. Paul was a part of the same religious system that put Jesus to death. Paul was not the drug-using, fowl mouth sinner many holiness preachers preach his conversion as. Paul followed all the rules, attended all the meetings, never questioning the brotherhood’s authority. If Paul was in the Holiness church he would be the ideal church member. As we see from turning the page. Paul’s changed mind makes him one of the greatest leaders of the first-century church, the author of nearly half the New Testament, and arguably the greatest influence to Christianity outside of Christ. His words have changed countless lives and impacted countless more. Truly his impact has shaped the world as we know it. All because of an encounter with Jesus and a changed mind. As a new believer, I was the poster child for 2 Corinthians 5:17; truly overnight I experienced a radical shift in my life from a hopeless dope dealer to a hopeless hope sharer. Friends, family, others around me knew something changed in my life. I open carried my Bible to every class in the secular university I attended, daring anyone to ask me why. I was extremely zealous, to put it mildly. I assumed the idea of “the more I give up, the cleaner I live, the closer to God I will become.” And this idea came out in every conversation and relationship. I became dissatisfied with the church I was attending. After all, they were part of a denomination and not holiness enough for me. So I left that church and school and attended a popular school in the holiness ranks. It didn’t take long to realize the hypocrisy that surrounded my way of thinking. By my line of thinking 99% of Christians that loved God were on their way to hell because their skirt was too short (even worse if they had on pants), hair was cut, they had a tv in their home or God forbid they went to a race track. If rules were the answer for the lack of revival you would think we would have seen miracles, healings, wonders at least once a week however that wasn’t the case. There were no miracles, there was no supernatural experience with God, there was no evangelism, there were no lives being changed. The place I went to prove my holiness ideals were right instead started my journey down the Damascus road that ended with an encounter with Jesus and my mind being changed. To the believer on your Damascus road. Your search for truth has lead you to this page. Maybe your story is like that of Paul’s you have listened to the words of a pastor or church leader your whole life and hold them in high regard but; while Jesus is telling you something different. Don’t be afraid of changing your mind! Your conformity to a set of rules and regulations does not make you saved. Your faith in Jesus Christ and his sacrifice on the cross does that all by its self. Many will call you compromised, disfellowship you, and slander you every step of your Damascus journey however, you are in good company. The words of the Pharisees couldn’t stop Paul couldn’t stop Jesus and don’t have to stop you. The church has done more to stop the spread of the gospel than the world ever thought of. It wasn’t the world who put Jesus on the cross, killed the disciples executed followers of Christ – a cold dead church did it all by their selves. Those who want to change the world will always face opposition from those content with the way their world is. So let your light shine! live the word. There is enough in there that you could never hope to live it all and there’s no room for extra baggage. That’s why God gave us the free gift of grace! “Those who want to do great things for God must attempt great things for God” Those who want to meet the mission and mandate of the great commission can’t afford to waste their lives in the quest of attaining what a church, pastor, parent, says is holiness and must realize that holiness is an attribute of God imputed to those who follow Him. If you want to follow the crowd and blindly do all the movement demands, go right ahead, but don’t expect to change the world. If rules worked, Jesus would have never come to the earth. If rules worked, Saul would have made his way to his destination and more believers would have lost their lives, if rules worked, why are there traffic violations, murders, human trafficking, gun violence, rape, or drug abuse? The answer for the world is not more rules, legislating morality never works. There have got to be changed minds and Jesus is pretty good at it! I commend you for taking seriously your faith. So many fall into the routine of religious activities. You go to church on Sunday, Bible study, mid week services, maybe you serve in the nursery, in the worship team or ladies ministry. However your haven’t been blinded by the religious practice instead are searching for deeper truth. That search has brought you to this page. Whether you are looking for clarification on a specific issue or document, or a better understanding for what you believe, Berean Holiness is a wonderful resource! Knowing what you believe and why unlocks confidence and personal responsibility previously unknown. The articles on this page have been studied in depth, bathed in prayer and serve as a guide towards what biblical Christianity in 21st century looks like. Take the words of each author, pray over them for yourselves, search the scriptures for yourselves. Whatever you do, don’t be afraid to change your mind.” – Neal Gruer