Resources
For Healing From Spiritual Abuse
Those who have experienced spiritual abuse often have so many questions—good questions—more than we can answer with our content alone. In an endeavor to help you find quality content and support, we’ve compiled the following directory of resources.
There is a lot of information here. If you’re still in the process of disentangling faith and hammering out what you believe, this page may become overwhelming. Please don’t feel pressured to find all the answers in a day. God sees where you are, He is pleased that you are seeking His truth, and He cares about you. If you find yourself becoming mentally/emotionally exhausted, we recommend taking a break and coming back at a later time when your mind is refreshed and able to focus. If it would help to share your story with someone, feel free to reach out! We’re here and happy to listen, as well as connect you with likeminded believers (when opportunities arise).
This resource page was created to be as comprehensive as possible, so feel free to bookmark it and take your time working through each topic. Please note, we are not in complete agreement with all the content, authors, and organizations we recommend. However, each source on this page has been carefully selected and vetted as much as possible for alignment with Christian values. If a resource made our list, then we believe it contains valuable information that is worth taking into consideration. We pray that these resources will encourage you as you heal from spiritual abuse and disentangle from harmful teachings.
“The first step to finding healing from spiritual abuse is to become educated about it.”
—Connie Baker, Traumatized by Religious Abuse
Directory
Healing from Spiritual Abuse
Exiting from a high-control group can feel incredibly isolating, but you are not alone.
Spiritual abuse is a form of abuse that is not widely addressed, and it can have long-term effects on a person’s spiritual health. One of the most dangerous aspects of spiritual abuse is exposed in The Subtle Power of Spiritual Abuse; “Spiritual abuse puts people at odds with their best Friend. It causes some people to question, doubt, and even run the other direction from their Source.” In Churches That Abuse, Ronald Enroth also puts it well: “Unlike physical abuse that often results in bruised bodies, spiritual and pastoral abuse leaves scars on the psyche and soul.” Spiritual abuse is harmful because it makes its victims question the safety of the One who is supposed to be a safe refuge and protection.
Examples of spiritual abuse can be found in the Bible, but the term “spiritual abuse” was coined in the publication of The Subtle Power of Spiritual Abuse in 1991. In 1992, a similar book that was written by Ronald Enroth, Churches That Abuse, describing the ten identifying traits of abusive churches: control-oriented leadership, spiritual elitism, manipulation of members, perceived persecution, lifestyle rigidity, emphasis on experience, suppression of dissent, harsh discipline of members, denunciation of other churches, and the painful exit process. Other teachers and authors on this topic share similar observations. If any of those traits sound unfortunately familiar, you’ll want to explore the rest of this page to learn more.
As you start to understand the reality of spiritual abuse, a great starting place on this place is to learn about grace. Once you are able to reacquaint yourself with God’s sweet grace (or perhaps for the first time), you will hopefully be able to take the pressure off of yourself, find rest, and allow yourself to grieve if you need to. Understanding God’s grace is a crucial point to begin your healing journey. Start with this video.
What is Spiritual Abuse?
Articles
- Spiritual Abuse Profile by Watchman Fellowship
- What is Spiritual Abuse? by Michael J. Kruger
- 14 Signs of Spiritual Abuse by Mark DeJesus
- Elements of Spiritual Abuse by Watchman Fellowship
- Spiritual Abuse in the Bible? by Watchman Fellowship
- Beating the Sheep by Watchman Fellowship
- Spiritual Abuse by Leaving the Network (adapted from Broken Trust by F. Remy Diederich)
Books
- The Subtle Power of Spiritual Abuse by David Johnson & Jeff VanVonderen
- Churches That Abuse by Ron Enroth (available for free at link)
- Recovering From Churches That Abuse by Ron Enroth (available for free at link)
- Soul Repair: Rebuilding Your Spiritual Life by Jeff VanVonderen, & Dale & Juanita Ryan
- Healing Spiritual Abuse by Ken Blue
- Wounded Faith edited by Neil Damgaard
- Toxic Faith by Stephen Arterburn & Jack Felton
- Broken Trust by F. Remy Diederich
- Understanding Spiritual Abuse: What It Is and How to Respond by Karen Roudkovski
- When Narcissism Comes to Church: Healing Your Community From Emotional and Spiritual Abuse by Chuck DeGroat
- Bully Pulpit: Confronting the Problem of Spiritual Abuse in the Church by Michael J. Kruger
Workbooks
- Spiritual Abuse Recovery Workbook by David Henke
- Spiritual Abuse Recovery Workbook: Engaging Faith in Healing by Karen Roudkovski
Videos
- Identifying Spiritual Abuse In Church by The Grace Escape Podcast
- Recognizing and Healing from Spiritual Abuse with Ken Garrett
- The Subtle Power of Spiritual Abuse Part 1 and Part 2 (Interview with the authors)
- How to Identify Spiritual Abuse by a Spiritual Leader by Allen Parr
- How Do We Heal From Spiritual Abuse? by Teasi Cannon
- How To Heal From Spiritual Abuse by Keepin’ It In Context
- 7 Battles People Have from Being Under Religious Legalism by Mark DeJesus
- What Is Spiritual Abuse? How Can I Recover From Being Spiritually Abused? on the Got Questions podcast
“Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.”
— Matthew 11: 28-30 —
Recovery Topics
Grace
- Grace and Mental Health by Mark DeJesus (Video)
- Understanding grace is essential to healing.
- Dietrich Bonhoeffer: Cheap Grace vs. Costly Grace by Josh Benner (Article)
- In The Cost of Discipleship, Dietrich Bonhoeffer differentiates between “cheap grace” and “costly grace.” This article explains the concept well. For more in Dietrich’s own words, see this excerpt from The Cost of Discipleship.
- Grace by Max Lucado (Book)
- “On-and-off salvation never appears in the Bible. Salvation is not a repeated phenomenon. Scripture contains no example of a person who was saved, then lost, then resaved, then lost again. Where there is no assurance of salvation, there is no peace. No peace means no joy. No joy results in fear-based lives. Is this the life God creates? No. Grace creates a confident soul who declares, “I know whom I have believed, and am convinced that he is able to guard what I have entrusted to him for that day.” (2 Tim. 1:12 NIV)
- Grace Plus Nothing: Freedom From Performance-Based Acceptance by Jeff Harkin (Book)
- Reads like a devotional (short sections)
- Holiness by Grace by Bryan Chapel (Book)
- “How do we keep the wonders of grace and the standards of Scripture married–beautifully supporting each other? The answer lies in making sure that people know that grace is not contrary to holy living. Grace and holiness perfectly agree; the psalmist says they ‘kiss’ (Ps. 85:9-10). …Grace does not preclude holiness, but makes it possible. Holiness springs from the foundation of grace.”
Boundaries
- Boundaries by Henry Cloud and John Townsend (Book– get a free sampler of the Boundaries books series here)
- Sample the Boundaries books series for free here
- Good Boundaries And Goodbyes by Lysa TerKeurst (Book)
- Am I in Denial That This Relationship Is Unhealthy? with Lysa TerKeurst (Video)
- What if We’ve Misunderstood God’s Intent for Boundaries? with Lysa TerKeurst (Video)
Spiritual Gaslighting
- Spiritual Gaslighting & How To Overcome It by Keepin’ It In Context (Video)
- Spiritual Abuse: Grooming and Gaslighting in High Control Churches by Responsible Faith (Video)
- What is (Spiritual) Gaslighting? A Discussion with Kyle Spears on TruthTraumaTheology (Video)
- Gaslighted by God: Reconstructing a Disillusioned Faith by Tiffany Yecke Brooks (Book)
Performance-Based Acceptance
- 5 Problems Of Performance-Based Christianity by Keepin’ It In Context (Video)
- 7 Signs of Performance Based Christianity by Mark DeJesus (Video)
- 10 Toxic Stages of Performance Based Christianity by Mark DeJesus (Article)
- Discerning Performance Based Christianity by Mark DeJesus (Article)
- Grace Plus Nothing: Freedom From Performance-Based Acceptance by Jeff Harkin (Book)
- People Pleaser: Breaking Free from the Burden of Imaginary Expectations by Jinger Vuolo (Book)
Rethinking the “Will of God”
- Rethinking the “Will of God” by The Grace Escape (YouTube|Apple|Spotify)
- What’s the Will of God? on The Gospel Coalition (TGC|Apple|Spotify)
- You Don’t Need to Discover God’s Will on The Gospel Coalition (Article)
- Just Do Something: A Liberating Approach to Finding God’s Will by Kevin DeYoung (Book)
- Finding God’s Life for My Will: His Presence Is the Plan by Mike Donehey (Book)
Courses & Ministries
Courses
- Healing from Spiritual Abuse with Mark De Jesus (Free)
- Trauma REBOOT by REBOOT Recovery
- Rebuilding [After Religious Abuse] with Be Emboldened
- Can I? with Be Emboldened
Ministries
Helping Others Recover
Books
- Recovering From Churches That Abuse by Ron Enroth (available for free at link)
- Wounded Faith by edited by Neil Damgaard
- Understanding Spiritual Abuse: What It Is and How to Respond by Karen Roudkovski
Workbooks
- Spiritual Abuse Recovery Workbook by David Henke, founder of Watchman Fellowship
- Spiritual Abuse Assessment: A Tool for Survivors and Their Helpers by Karen Roudkovski
- Spiritual Abuse Recovery Workbook: Engaging Faith in Healing by Karen Roudkovski
Articles
- Escaping High-Control Religious Groups on Christianity Today
- Recovery From Spiritual Abuse: How You Can Help by Sharon Hilderbrant
- Dispelling the Myths: The Psychological Consequences of Cultic Involvement by Paul R. Martin
- Who Needs Missionaries? (It’s Not Just the ‘Unreached’) by The Gospel Coalition
- This article describes the importance of engaging with the “misreached.”
Videos
- Spiritual Abuse Survivors: Effective Ways to Offer Support by Be Emboldened
- What Is Spiritual Abuse? on The Got Questions Podcast
- How to Understand the Complexity of Trauma and Spiritual Abuse by Be Emboldened
Professionals
- Cult Recovery: A Clinician’s Guide to Working With Former Members and Families
- This is a comprehensive guide published by the International Cultic Studies Association. Read a review here.
- Understanding Religious Abuse and Recovery: Discovering Essential Principles for Hope and Healing by Patrick J. Knapp (Book; hear an overview of the book here)
- Cracking the Cult Code for Therapists: What Every Cult Victim Wants Their Therapist to Know by Bonnie Zieman (Book)
- Recovery from Cults: Help for Victims of Psychological and Spiritual Abuse by Michael Langone (Book)
- Basic Knowledge Needed To Be Cult-Informed by Rosanne Henry (Article)
- Clinical Skills Needed To Be Cult-Informed by Rosanne Henry (Article)
- Workshop for Mental Health Professionals: Psychological Manipulation, Cults, and Cultic Relationships by Rosanne Henry
“If you confess with your mouth that Jesus is Lord and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved. For with the heart one believes and is justified, and with the mouth one confesses and is saved. For the Scripture says, ‘Everyone who believes in him will not be put to shame.’ For there is no distinction between Jew and Greek; for the same Lord is Lord of all, bestowing his riches on all who call on him. For ‘everyone who calls on the name of the Lord will be saved.’“