Why Jesus Prioritized “Church Hurt” Over Evangelism

One of the most common critiques we hear about Berean Holiness and other ministries that help believers heal and grow is that any effort we spend tending the injuries or refining the thinking of those who are already believers is wasted time. After all, we could have spent that time “reaching the lost.” 

It’s a fair question to ask. Is it wise to spend so much time helping people who are already believers when we could focus our limited efforts on reaching those who are not?

While our time is limited, the Bible does command us to reach the lost and to serve believers. In many instances, these are not in conflict and are about as difficult as “walking and chewing gum at the same time.” The Berean Holiness board and staff have been or are currently engaged in multiple efforts to reach non-believers at home and abroad in our personal lives. Natalie and I in particular have spent significant time living in a developing country in support of mission work. Because that’s not a part of Berean Holiness’ focus, our efforts to that end are not conducted under Berean Holiness’ banner, but they are a part of our lives nonetheless. (Note, while serving believers through Berean Holiness, there have been many people who left faith and people who never understood the gospel to begin with who credited Berean Holiness as influential in their salvation).

But sometimes our finite capacities force us to choose between serving believers (healthy and wounded ones) and tending to the lost. While the needs of the lost are pressing, the Bible is clear that they are not our first priority.

Throughout Scripture, both the example of Jesus and his teachings make clear that while we do have a responsibility to love everyone, in our finite capacity to express love, we must prioritize believers.

 

The Command

Jesus summarized the law and the prophets in two commandments: “Jesus said unto him, Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind. This is the first and great commandment. And the second is like unto it, Thou shalt love thy neighbor as thyself” (Matthew 22:37–39).

However, this was not his last word on the topic. That word, delivered privately to his disciples, was that there was in fact a third great commandment. “A new commandment I give unto you, That ye love one another; as I have loved you, that ye also love one another.”  (John 13:34).

This commandment and its implications are expounded at great length in the Gospel of John. It is also repeated numerous times throughout the epistles.

Note that harmony or unity is the result of mutual love. So, commands to love fellow believers and commands to live in harmony with them mean the same thing. One can easily assemble a long list of verses that say “love one another,” “live in harmony with one another,” and “live at peace with one another.” 

Sometimes we interpret these instructions more broadly as how to act towards everyone, but in context many of them are laser focused on how we should love and serve fellow believers. “Do good to all men, especially to them who are of the household of faith” (Galatians 6:10).

If the explicit commands weren’t enough to get the point across, we only have to look at the model of the early church. Nearly all of the ample charity we see modeled in the early church is explicitly to help poor believers (Acts 6:1, 1 Timothy 5). While the church served unbelievers as well, they first ensured that there were no needy among their ranks (Acts 4:34). In every community they visited, the early evangelists ministered to the faithful Jews before they reached out to the Gentiles—a practice that mirrored how Christ conducted his own ministry. 

Jesus’ ministry focused on the lost sheep of the house of Israel. And he wasn’t just bringing them an update the old covenant, he was actively countering the religious leaders who had corrupted it. He could have spent far less time retraining wayward Jews and far more time among the unreached Gentiles. 

Yet, Jesus prioritized the “misreached” over the unreached.

 

The Purpose

It’s not the first time that God’s prioritization of things fails to live up to human intuition. After all, the disciples grumbled that the ointment “wasted” on Jesus’ feet could have been sold and used to provide for the poor.

Because every good thing can’t be a priority, Jesus has proclaimed that caring for fellow believers should be one of our highest. While God doesn’t always explain his rationale for his commands, in this case, he explains at least some. It is a means to a greater end. Loving believers is explicitly labeled as a means to win unbelievers in John 13:35, “By this all will know that you are My disciples, if you have love for one another.” 

The lost need to be restored in their relationship with their creator, but this is a fact of which very few are aware. It’s also a fact that is inherently difficult for unbelievers to comprehend. However, far more people are aware of their need to be loved by other people, and to live in harmony with them. The works of the flesh are not conducive to selfless, sincere love, so this is something many are aware they are lacking.

Ninety percent of popular music on the radio is about a desire to love or be loved. This isn’t to say that the culture is correct that all of your needs can be fulfilled by a single “soulmate.” The reality is that our loves are more varied and complex. We need the love of a spouse, extended family, friends, community, and most importantly, God. We may try to fill it with all the wrong things, but we humans are acutely aware of our need for love.

So how do we draw the lost to the ultimate relationship? By demonstrating the love of heaven on earth. While we can and should express that love to the lost directly, unrequited love can still appear dysfunctional. But by caring for other believers, who will reciprocate, we can demonstrate a level of unity that can only come from selflessness and mutual submission.

And of course, loving one another isn’t just a way to draw outsiders into the church, but is also a medicine God prescribes because it reflects his character. He is love, and he wants his followers to love and be loved, particularly by each other. If you’re growing in love, it’s also easier to practice in a place where you will be loved in return.

So, we have good reason to prioritize the love and care of fellow believers. 

This is an important doctrine with numerous practical applications. In the context of Berean Holiness, one of the most critical applications is the need to prioritize those sheep who have been neglected or abused by spiritual authorities.

 

When the Church Wounds its Own

While the bonds among believers are both crucial to our own flourishing and witnessing to others, because it involves humans, it can also go badly wrong.

The deepest wounds come from those closest to you. Love requires responsiveness and vulnerability. Humans will sometimes abuse this, intentionally or not, resulting in our injury. When everyone is operating in good faith, these routine scrapes and bruises can be a part of our sanctification. In some sense, they’re not a “bug” of the church, they’re a feature. We grow through surmountable challenge. You can envision how the scrapes and bruises of an active and not overly sheltered childhood prepare a child for the rigors of the adult world.

In our hyper-sensitive and therapeutic age, there are many doctrinally sound Christians who are wary about overresponding to “church hurt.” There are also unsympathetic cynics with the same concern. When a protestor stood outside of the entrance to our first conference, the deepest burn that he could think to sear into a cardboard sign was “Welcome church victims.”  The implication being that anyone associated with us was a navel-gazing snowflake.

Regardless of the source of the criticism, it’s fair that emotional pain is not always healed by dwelling on it and there are some people with “thin skin.” My daughter is one of them, but we’ll cut her some slack because she’s three. For adults, it’s not healthy to burst into tears over every disappointment or ruminate over an unkind word for weeks or months. 

And yet, not all “church hurt” is created equal. There is harm that moves beyond the proverbial skinned knee and to the level of abuse and neglect that makes your skin crawl, and your hackles rise. We feel this viscerally when we witness or even hear about the abuse or neglect of a small child. Jesus felt this just as strongly when he proclaimed that the one who leads astray a spiritual babe would be better off thrown into the sea with a millstone around his neck (Matthew 18:6). 

While people can be spiritually harmed by peers, the most serious cases usually involve spiritual authority. Any context where authority exists allows for the abuse of authority. This is not an argument against authority, as its absence would generate other problems. This is a reason to be watchful of the spiritual authorities in our lives and ensure that their conduct respects the biblical limits of their offices. 

In addition to watching out for yourself, it’s also important to see that others aren’t being abused by spiritual authorities. In fact, Jesus used the harshest language to describe false shepherds—hirelings, vipers, whitewashed tombs, wolves in sheep’s clothing. The kindest thing he said about them was that some of them were merely “blind.” Paul’s strongest language was also reserved not for the pagan Romans, but for the legalistic Judaizers of Galatia. This level of spiritual harm that curdled the blood of Jesus and Paul still goes on today.

Spiritual authority run amuck is incredibly devastating. The pain of being biblically disciplined for sin is far different from the pain of being harshly disciplined for an action which is not sin, but which your leadership is trying to convince you is sin. Both are painful, but the former leads to restoration, and the latter leads to alienation and despair. Even if these actions are conducted merely out of blindness rather than maleficence, the result is the same. 

If Jesus and Paul prioritized teaching, serving, and restoring these walking wounded, then so should we. 

Here again, we return to God’s wisdom in prioritizing this issue over the other legitimate needs of unbelievers. What do you think the effect of mauled sheep walking around in the world is? Even if they remain among the sheep, their injuries are bound to attract notice and lead to other noticeable maladies—bitterness, timidity, harshness, or legalism. In answer to the question “what happened to you?” The answer is “church.” There’s hardly a worse advertisement for the gospel.

Of course, there is one way it can be worse. For those sheep who leave the flock altogether and move in among the goats, they will be quick to condemn where they came from in order to build rapport and be understood by their new friends. They will be far more vicious critics than the ardent atheist who has never darkened a church door. In business, a bad review will cost five or more prospective new customers. How many souls do these people cost the church? How many evangelism efforts would be necessary to offset their damage?

What about the undernourished sheep who may never have been injured (because they have never crossed the authority figures), but they are fed an inadequate diet of opinion and analogy in lieu of the meat or the milk of God’s word? When they interact with unbelievers, their witness is a stumbling block to the Gospel. They’ve added so much to it that the sacrifice of Christ fades into the background of a convoluted tangle of unrelated rules. 

This is why we embrace God’s idea that we should prioritize these believers. And standing firm on the command and example of Christ, we will continue to further their healing, their growth, and when appropriate, their departure to a healthier flock. 

Go and do likewise.

—Nathan Mayo

 

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